Get ready

It truely is hard for our loved ones to understand because unless you live the pain then you don't really know. However I am very lucky with my husband to be (been with him for 14 years) He makes things easier for me…He never rushes and always tells me to slow down and there is not a device out there that he have not bought me from special splints to heating pads to cutlery for my sore hands (fork and knife)…He gives me a foot rub every night and tells me all the time that it breaks his heart to see me hurt. I am very lucky to have him because support is as important to me as my meds. Right now I am in a flare up and cross my fingers it goes soon.

You're right, no one knows the pain unless they have it.
Well, I went to the SSD doctor they sent me to, and she had me
hurting more after I left than before I saw her. course, isn't that the way it usually is. Still don't know he outcome of tht yet, but will let everybody know.
Wow, I keep messing up hitting the keys, its like my fingers want to do their own thing. I have to keep correcting myself. Could it be the RA??? My doctor did ask me if I was having vision problems, and I said, hmmmm yes, I have, lately..
I am just falling apart. I told my husband, he needs to trade me in for a new one, he was slow on it, and I had t explain, anyway, he said he loves me and wouldn't trade me for anything, and he would take care of me. hehehe he is falling apart too.. But of course, if I hurt, he hurts. my, my, iy must be love. :)

HEHEHEHE I remember telling my spouse the same thing…trade me in and he said no way he loves me for me…great having a loving spouse that is also supportive isn't it.

Nobody really knows the pain we go though its hard i know my fam use to talk me to walk faster and i cant it hurts to bad 4 me to walk or when they help me walk they walk to fast so i know how u feel

Working full-time AND having a disability is rough. It results in stress to the mind and body which impacts on your physical and mental well-being. Having supportive individuals is ideal but we don't live in an ideal world. How can we know or appreciate how another feels? We can't. That distance exists so we can survive.

I had to stop watching the news as I "felt" for the victims of crime and the injured. In the past few years, thanks to the support of hubby, I have released family members that drained me…it was very difficult but I felt like a weight was removed after I had done it. I even went to see a psychologist prior to following through just to get another point of view (3rd party uninvolved). As a result I can say that less stress = less physical pain = sleeping better = losing weight = more energy = living

The dr told me that I had given so much of myself, selflessly, since I was a wee child that there was almost nothing left. In essence, I had to become selfish… with my time, energy, myself. It really has worked, for me. I am German/Slovak and first generation Canadian. I am the oldest of 4 children. I was always responsible for someone, teaching someone, doing for someone else. Saying "No" was almost impossible. At 40, I stopped apologizing for things that weren't my fault. At 50, I released the people that didn't bring anything helpful/positive to my life. At 60…well a few years to go yet but I can honestly say it's going to be amazing.

Be kinder to yourself. If your husband loves you as much as I hope he does, he'll understand. Aging is difficult. Those of us with arthritis earlier in life know this. Do things that bring you joy. Hang in there. Hugs to you.

Glad to have you as a friend, and understand how we feel… I worked in a nursing home for 9 yrs and watched the people with arthritis. I felt so sorry for them, now I know how they felt, esp when the aides would move them or pick them up. How they yelled because it hurt so bad. I know I don't like to have my wrists bothered. I think they hurt the most. I move as much as I can, even go out and play ball and frisbee wih my dog everyday. Got to keep on movin… :)

I know what you mean. Your husband doesn’t know what you mean nor does he get it. He is just trying to be supportive. Our friends and family cannot begin to imagine what living with RA is like but bravo to the ones who try to offer sympathy in such a complicated situation. All you can do is pace yourself, perhaps try to get to bed earlier so that you can get up earlier and that way you can get your joints moving earlier. I still work fulltime and I have to be at work at 8 am so my mornings can be pretty hard. (((Hugs))) to you.